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　　LETTER 531

　　CHARLES LAMB TO BERNARD BARTON

　　April 30, 1831.

　　Vir Bone!—Recepi literas tuas amicissimas, et in mentem venit responsuro mihi, vel raro, vel nunquam, inter nos intercedisse Latinam linguam, organum rescribendi, loquendive. Epistolae tuae, Plinianis elegantiis (supra quod TREMULO deceat) refertae, tam a verbis Plinianis adeo abhorrent, ut ne vocem quamquam (Romanam scilicet) habere videaris, quam "ad canem," ut aiunt, "rejectare possis." Forsan desuetudo Latinissandi ad vernaculam linguam usitandam, plusquam opus sit, coegit. Per adagia quaedam nota, et in ore omnium pervulgata, ad Latinitatis perditae recuperationem revocare te institui.

　　Felis in abaco est, et aegrè videt. Omne quod splendet nequaquam aurum putes. Imponas equo mendicum, equitabit idem ad diabolum. Fur commodè a fure prenditur. O MARIA, MARIA, valdè CONTRARIA, quomodo crescit hortulus tuus? Nunc majora canamus. Thomas, Thomas, de Islington, uxorem duxit die nupera Dominicâ. Reduxit domum posterâ. Succedenti baculum emit. Postridiè ferit illam. Aegrescit ilia subsequenti. Proximâ (nempe Veneris) est Mortua. Plurimum gestiit Thomas, quòd appropinquanti Sabbato efferenda sit.

　　Horner quidam Johannulus in angulo sedebat, artocreas quasdam deglutiens. Inseruit pollices, pruna nana evellens, et magnâ voce exclamavit "Dii boni, quàm bonus puer fio!"

　　Diddle-diddle-dumkins! meus unicus filius Johannes cubitum ivit, integris braccis, caligâ unâ tantum, indutus. Diddle-diddle, etc. DA CAPO.

　　Hie adsum saltans Joannula. Cum nemo adsit mihi, semper resto sola.

　　Aenigma mihi hoc solvas, et Oedipus fies.

　　Quâ ratione assimulandus sit equus TREMULO?

　　Quippe cui tota communicatio sit per HAY et NEIGH, juxta consilium illud Dominicum, "Fiat omnis communicatio vestra YEA et NAY."

　　In his nugis caram diem consume, dum invigilo valetudini carioris nostras Emmae, quae apud nos jamdudum aegrotat. Salvere vos jubet mecum Maria mea, ipsa integrâ valetudine.

　　ELIA.

　　Ab agro Enfeldiense datum, Aprilis nescio quibus Calendis— Davus sum, non Calendarius.

　　P.S.—Perdita in toto est Billa Reformatura.

　　[Mr. Stephen Gwynn gives me the following translation:—

　　Good Sir, I have received your most kind letter, and it has entered my mind as I began to reply, that the Latin tongue has seldom or never been used between us as the instrument of converse or correspondence. Your letters, filled with Plinian elegancies (more than becomes a Quaker), are so alien to Pliny's language, that you seem not to have a word (that is, a Roman word) to throw, as the saying is, at a dog. Perchance the disuse of Latinising had constrained you more than is right to the use of the vernacular. I have determined to recall you to the recovery of your lost Latinity by certain well-known adages common in all mouths.

　　The cat's in the cupboard and she can't see.

　　All that glitters is not gold.

　　Set a beggar on horseback and he'll ride to the Devil.

　　Set a thief to catch a thief.

　　Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

　　Now let us sing of weightier matters.

　　Tom, Tom, of Islington, wed a wife on Sunday. He brought her home on

　　Monday. Bought a stick on Tuesday. Beat her well on Wednesday. She

　　was sick on Thursday. Dead on Friday. Tom was glad on Saturday night

　　to bury his wife on Sunday.

　　Little Jack Homer sat in a corner, eating his Christmas pie. He put

　　in his thumb and drew out a plum, and cried "Good Heavens, what a

　　good boy am I!"

　　Diddle, diddle, dumkins! my son John Went to bed with his breeches

　　on; One shoe off and the other shoe on, Diddle, diddle, etc. (Da

　　Capo.)

　　Here am I, jumping Joan. When no one's by, I'm all alone.

　　Solve me this enigma, you shall be an Oedipus.

　　Why is a horse like a Quaker?

　　Because all his communication is by Hay and Neigh, after the Lord's counsel, "Let all your communication be Yea and Nay."

　　In these trifles I waste the precious day, while watching over the health of our more precious Emma, who has been sick in our house this long time. My Mary sends you greeting with me, she herself in sound health.

　　Given from the Enfield country seat, on I know not what Calends of

　　April—I am Davus not an Almanac.[l]

　　P.S.—The Reform Bill is lost altogether.

　　The Reform Bill was introduced on March 1, 1831, by Lord John Russell; the second reading was carried on March 22 by a majority of 1. On its commitment on April 19 there was a majority of 8 against the Government. Four days later the Government was again defeated by 22 and Parliament was dissolved. But later, of course, the Reform Bill was passed.]

　　[Footnote 1: Allusion to the phrase of Davus the servant in Plautus—"Davus sum non Oedipus."] The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb — Volume 6