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　　Sic A Wife As Willie Had

　　Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed,

　　The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie;

　　Willie was a wabster gude,

　　Could stown a clue wi' ony body:

　　He had a wife was dour and din,

　　O Tinkler Maidgie was her mither;

　　Sic a wife as Willie had,

　　I wad na gie a button for her!

　　She has an e'e, she has but ane,

　　The cat has twa the very colour;

　　Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,

　　A clapper tongue wad deave a miller:

　　A whiskin beard about her mou',

　　Her nose and chin they threaten ither;

　　Sic a wife as Willie had,

　　I wadna gie a button for her!

　　She's bow-hough'd, she's hein-shin'd,

　　Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;

　　She's twisted right, she's twisted left,

　　To balance fair in ilka quarter:

　　She has a lump upon her breast,

　　The twin o' that upon her shouther;

　　Sic a wife as Willie had,

　　I wadna gie a button for her!

　　Auld baudrons by the ingle sits,

　　An' wi' her loof her face a-washin;

　　But Willie's wife is nae sae trig,

　　She dights her grunzie wi' a hushion;

　　Her walie nieves like midden-creels,

　　Her face wad fyle the Logan Water;

　　Sic a wife as Willie had,

　　I wadna gie a button for her! Poems and Songs of Robert Burns